Monday, August 28th, 2006

Around 8:35 P.M., I went out to look over Sarasota Bay to the west. There was a thick cloud bank blocking the moon. I could still see it's crescent, but no stars or planets were visible. After about 10 minutes of waiting for the clouds to move, I heard rustling in the bushes. Knowing blood-thirsty badgers and mongeese lived in the area, I adorned my sword and shield. Searching about I spotted the bloodthirsty red eyes of a hungry mongoose-beast, and swung only to have my sword caught between his palms. I quickly kicked his chest in and went for the kill only to injure its shoulder. It let out a cry that attracted 3 more mongeese-beasts, which circled me in a menacing fashion. Knowing I was no match with sword and shield alone, I drew my spellbook and called forth two demon motorcycles from the netherworld. I totally jumped onto them both at the same time, one foot on each seat, and then wailed on my sword like a guitar. This instantly turned my sword into a chainsaw. I kicked the motorcycles into action and made a drive-by swing for the head of the largest mongoose-beast, messily decapitating him. This caused his allies to flee in fear, so I threw my shield down and jumped on it like a surf board, and then it magically turned into a missile, which I mounted and chased down the mongeese-beasts with. Once at point-blank range of a mongoose-beast, I did a totally sweet backflip off the missile, thrusting it forward and into the spine of my foe. While in the middle of my totally wicked sweet backflip, I drew my chainsaw and landed it right down the middle of the final beast, leaving only a corpse and a pile of their golden dubloons. Dubloons are totally sweet.